Experiencing an emotion and acting out of that emotion are two separate things.
Emotion is just energy in the form of sensation in the body. This is true for sadness, anger, annoyance...any feeling at all. What???
For example, like we talked about last week, an emotion we may commonly feel in our relationship is annoyance or irritation. It's one of the more uncomfortable emotions that I experience from time to time. Ugh.
When I feel irritated my urge is to get the people around me to stop doing certain things —to stop being loud, to stop acting certain ways. But I know it won’t lead to good things if I act out of that urge.
Irritation had been been coming up a whole lot over the holidays (more of that story here). So I spent a lot of time practicing feeling it —as a sensation in the body.
To me irritation feels like heat in my arms, prickly... It feels urgently uncomfortable, like I need to make it go away—right now!
But I’ve learned to sit with it —without doing anything about it. And as I simply feel it, it shifts, fades, retreats.
When we understand this—how to feel what we feel—then we don’t feel such need to change others.
My kids can be loud, my husband can interrupt me a few times in a row, but because I can be with my own irritation (and not get mad at myself for feeling irritated), I am free to choose how I respond to them!
Instead of snapping at them I can kindly and calmly handle their rambunctiousness, or ask them to calm down, or go into another room. Or simply be okay with however things are in the moment. Or even choose to love them for their humanness.
When I can really experience my feelings I suddenly have a choice in how I behave. I’m no longer at the mercy of anyone else’s behavior. I feel self-assured, steady, and can show up in the loving way I want to with my husband and family. And that feels really freeing.
What if you could just experience the sensations of your emotions fully, without trying to make them go away or acting them out?
What if you knew you could handle anything you felt? How would that change your relationship, your whole life? Think about it for a moment.
I would be free and confident
Grounded, in charge of my life
Strong, a great listener
a pleasant partner
able to stay calm in triggering moments
a steady calm presence to be around
The women I work with who are actually learning how to handle their strong emotions are reporting to me that they are:
tackling difficult and confronting situations with calm and poise and grace, which is a HUGE change for me.
getting compliments about their calm steadiness.
suddenly laughing and joking with their partners (instead of being upset with them so much).
getting love notes from their husband, and snuggles that had been absent for many months or years.
It happens for me, too. My husband shows me love so much more naturally when I handle my emotions with this kind of grace and maturity.
If you are ready for a new way of being in your relationship--one that is so much more fulfilling, so much more calm, fun, sweet and loving-- get good at handling your emotions.
That’s exactly what I will help you do, masterfully, when you decide to work with me.
Like my clients have done before you, you can end the upset in your relationship, be in control of your strong emotions, and handle the hard things with confidence, self-assurance and self-respect.
You can learn to interact in way that creates deeper connection with your significant other.
You can feel the sweetness and security of having your partner as a loving ally in life.
You can laugh together again, and love each other more deeply than ever before.
When you work with me you'll get everything you need to create the intimate, supportive, loving relationship that you really want with your partner—even if things have been hard for a long time.
And you won't have to do it alone. Let's make it happen together. Book your free consult call to find out what's getting in your way of already having the love you want, and how I can help you get there.
As one current client wrote: "After only a month working with you, I am a calmer, more consistent version of myself. As a result of this HUGE change in me, my husband has shifted too - he has started to show me love and affection again. I know I am on my way back to a deep, loving relationship with him, and it feels so good."
You can get started on this same path back to love right now.