For many women who are feeling more disconnected than connected in their marriages, it’s not just that their husband is not being the most east-to-connect-to person…it’s also something going on in them.
When I feel disconnected in my own marriage, I know to look at what I'm doing to fuel that disconnection. I ask the same of my clients. And when we look, we are ALWAYS able to find our part in it!
One of the most common things we sensitive women tend to find when we look, is that we have, to some degree, hardened our own hearts against our spouse.
Often, it’s not that our partner isn’t someone we can connect with. It’s that we ourselves haven’t met them with an open heart...we've closed our hearts in an unconscious effort to protect ourselves from the disappointment we feel about the fact that our partner hasn't been the consistent source of love and soul-deep validation we crave.
If your spouse has had times when he didn't SEE you, or he met your vulnerable words or kindnesses in a dismissive way, or if he ever reacted to you defensively or angrily, if you’ve had lots or irritable moments or little arguments…
...then you likely, too, may have caged in your open loving heart to shield yourself from the hurt of not being met with understanding and openness.
When you do this, you shut down to the point where you stop letting love in. You stop being able to receive or generate the connection that you truly do yearn for.
This tactic, as you can probably see, is not working. It's a primal, ancient-human, protective strategy that will never get the evolved kind of intimacy you truly want. Instead, it will keep getting primal results (ie pain, disconnection and longing for a kind of connection that feels ever elusive).
The only way to feel more connected is to have an open heart! And only YOU can open your heart, can soften enough to let love in.
But I can easily guide you there when you join the Closer To Your Husband in 7 Days Challenge.
In it, you're going to learn how to make the simple energetic and biochemical shifts that will allow you to soften and open that big heart of yours, and begin to trust again in how loved you are…
… so you can actually want to hold hands with your husband, cuddle, and even kiss again, and talk together again late into the evening like you once did…
And so you can actually DO the simple things that will keep generating more and more of the connection and closeness you want…and keep them up into the future.
Feeling disconnected? Time to let love in. Join the Closer To Your Husband in 7 Days Challenge for only $24! We start on October 15th. Get all the details here.
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