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  • Hannah

How To Escape The Dull Marriage Trap

Do you make enough time for yourself and your significant other? Most of the year my husband and I are good at making sure we both have time for ourselves and each other. We live by a flexible schedule that makes time for both of us in a way that really feeds our love life.

But then—the end of the school year and the heart of summer arrives, and things get especially complicated.

For us this means lots of end-of-the-year events and social gatherings, kids home from school, more driving to camps and friends, friend and family visits, and inconsistent routines -- all on top of the normal life stuff.

Not only is the hubbub and change in schedule discombobulating for a sensitive girl like me, it can be unsettling for our marriage. Because with everything happening so quickly, it’s easy to let alone-time and together-time with my husband slide.

Maybe that’s standard for you. Letting you-time slide. Letting together-time take the backseat to more “important” things --like work, kids, extended family, house projects... But take it from me that this, my friend, is likely to eventually lead you to a ”dry toast” relationship.

In my first marriage I always did the same thing. I didn’t make sure we had quality time together, nor time apart. I—too late—recognized it was costing me big time. To the point that it cost me our marriage.

So this week I looked around at all the things my man and I were letting dominate our lives and I said to him— “Enough! We need a date night. And it's time to re-implement our weekly connection schedule”.

So we did just that. And guess what? Today, we are feeling so darn good. Taking that time for each other, and re-claiming time for our own selves, are essential nutrients to a healthy marriage. It’s a big part of how we maintain a vibrant relationship, despite the unpredictability and, ahem, chaos, of summer and raising 3 kiddos.

I thought that if this had been challenging for me lately, it may be a helpful for YOU to read (or re-read) one of my most popular articles ever: How to Maintain a Vibrant & Loving Relationship (Despite the Kids), published on Elephant Journal.

It will give you a good kick in the booty -- well, loving encouragement is more my style!-- and some creative ideas to re-vive the connection and spark in your partnership—even if life feels a bit chaotic. Enjoy and share comments below!

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