NOT loving will never get you more love. It sounds so obvious... but one of the things I see often —and I certainly used to do myself—is we women tend to go cold when our partner is not loving us how we want: When he isn’t listening attentively or doesn’t text during the day, or doesn’t say thank you for the little things we do for him, over time we shut down, withdraw. Or we attack with our words. Point out all his wrongdoings. Angrily demand he do things the way we think he should. It’s totally understandable if you do this. After all, you are human. And he could surely do things better. But-- it isn’t bringing more love into your life. (Believe me, I have tried it thoroughly!)
Not only do we learn to love by loving, we also breed more love by loving.
There are no exceptions to this! Try this: Do something that feels loving for your partner today. Maybe it’s a quick call just to say hello and you are thinking about him. Maybe it’s a little act of service, or words of appreciation. Do it without expectation about his response. Meaning, do it not needing anything from him in return. Then notice how it feels to YOU to give love like that. If it feels good to you, keep it up! (That feeling itself IS the return, for now.) Watch how keeping this up shifts things for the better between you over the next week. Now, if it doesn’t feel good, you’ve got some things in you getting in the way of you feeling and creating the love you want in your marriage. This is totally normal, by the way, and does not mean anything is wrong with you! We live in a world that has not paved an easy path inside us to feeling lasting love. But that's not a problem, because you have a very malleable brain. With the right tools and support, you can easily pave a path in that brain--straight to the love you want. Email me and say, "let's talk" to set up a chat about how I can help you do that the quickest, easiest way possible. I'll tell you exactly what things are getting in the way and what it will take to bust apart those roadblocks and pave that path to the love and connection you want with your partner.