Insecurity doesn’t just happen to us. We aren't just born “insecure”. We unconsciously create it in ourselves over time. Not knowing any better, I turned myself into an insecure young woman because I kept thinking a set of thoughts about myself that MADE me more and more insecure. Such as, “I never have anything to add to a conversation”, “My thighs are too big”... If you think of yourself as someone who’s insecure, lacks confidence, or has low self-esteem, you, too, had to have many thoughts over the course of your life to anchor that into “who you are”.
Like dinosaur fossils entombed under layers of silt, soil, decayed plants, and mud, we sensitive women have a tendency to entomb ourselves in insecurity.
As hard as this can feel to admit to, once we do, it’s so freeing.
Because if WE entombed ourselves in it, WE can also excavate ourselves out from under its weight. Discover and really see our amazingness for the first time. Find our way back to a light, secure confidence in ourselves. But as we grow, this dependence becomes a problem if we never wean ourselves from it. It leads to neediness. Graspiness. Complaints and demands. People pleasing. Trying endlessly to get things from our partner. Things they can't ultimately give us. Like a deep sense of worthiness, the knowing we are totally lovable. The unwavering love we crave. Respect and adoration no matter what. We can only get all that from our own self. And we do so NO PROBLEM when we have a BRAIN that knows how to feel that love and security wherever we go … Luckily, this is something we can develop on purpose. It doesn't take years and years of therapy uncovering your old wounds to get there, either. It just takes some clear understandings of how the brain works, and the method and commitment to mold that brain so it works FOR you and for love, instead of continuing to create more of the same old insecurity, hurt, and neediness that always leads to disconnection.
This is the work I do with my clients, in a step by step individually tailored process that rewires your brain so you become the secure loved woman you have the birthright to be. When you come coach with me, we’ll put lightness, safety, trust, and love back at the center of your relationship, and the center of your life. Email me at hannah@lifeisworthloving.com with “I’m in” and we’ll talk about just what that will entail for you.
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