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  • Writer's pictureHannah Brooks

Insourcing Validation (Instead Of Outsourcing It)

What if you consistently felt like you were important, cared for, valued and like you deeply matter to your partner, and to all the people you care about? Like, all the matter what happened?

How would that change in your marriage….your life?

In a nutshell, it would free you up to have so much more fun, lightness, connection, love, and passion in your marriage, and simple enjoyment of your partner day in and day out.

Unfortunately, most of us, especially as HSPs, don’t feel this steady sense of being valued, and loved enough. Not even in our marriage, where we want to feel that way the most.

Yes, we can sometimes feel it when others applaud us for something, or when we finally reach that goal we had...

But that feeling of validation comes and goes...right? To maintain it, or feel more of it, we often end up chasing it, doing things to earn that validation….or working to get our partner to show us we're valuable…

This is a setup for an exhausting power struggle and endless emotional turmoil, because…

  • your husband, like so many, might not be so good at always saying the loving thing, listening well, complementing or hugging you, and appreciating you out loud for all that you are and do.

  • It puts a lot of pressure on your partner and totally disempowers you.

  • it leaves you super vulnerable to feeling unimportant and unvalued.

  • And you’re likely to feel resentful, super frustrated with your man, and quite disappointed in him and your marriage, to boot...

….Because (today or one day down the road) he’s going to be bad at this job of making sure you feel valued all the time!

If this sounds at all familiar, you are outsourcing your value. Most people do! But it’s a completely unsustainable, unreliable way to go about feeling how you deserve to feel as a highly sensitive woman: deeply valued, valuable, and like you matter!

And guess what? Even if your partner does well at this job much of the time, he’s actually never the reason you feel valuable or not. This turns out to be very good news for you and your marriage...

Listen in as I teach you where your sense of value really comes from, how much better you --and your marriage will feel-- when you know how to insource your sense of feeling deeply valuable in your life and marriage, and how easy it actually is to do once you learn how to begin.

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