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  • Writer's pictureHannah Brooks

Strategic Anger

Updated: Sep 6, 2023

Anger is not a bad emotion. It can be a useful fuel for positive change in our relationships. But in our modern relationships, it most often isn't…


That’s because we tend to over-indulge in it, and react out of it. So it ends up doing more harm than good in our marriages.

If you find yourself annoyed, frustrated, resentful, or angry somewhat often at your partner–and you think you may show it (even if only subtly), please know that you are not a bad partner and this is quite normal. Yet, it is most likely not only pushing you and your partner apart, but also diluting any power your anger may have to make things better between you. If so, it’s time to take a different approach. This doesn't mean eliminating anger, but rather evolving the way you handle it so it can serve you effectively, the way it was meant to. Dive in to learn about:

  • How our unconscious defense mechanisms can lead to over-relying on anger in an attempt to improve things

  • Why, if you're feeling anger often, it's likely because you're in a very normal stage in your relationship–one that you can move beyond, so you can have the love and connection you want.

  • The 2 kinds of anger–one that hurts and one that heals.

  • How the way I handled anger really hurt my first marriage—and how the way I handle it now has been a healing force in my own marriage.

  • How you, too, can begin shifting from the harmful to the helpful type of anger

  • What ”strategic anger” can do for you and your relationship when you learn to use it.

  • What you can do instead of getting really angry at your significant other to make positive changes between you.

Tune in to this episode to start building a whole new relationship with your very human emotion of anger–one that will help you have the relationship you really want with your husband.


Listen in to find out how you can, too!



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