Maybe he's done you wrong in a thousand small ways:
Not listened to what you were really trying to say.
Made an agreement with you and then went back on it.
Didn't get you a gift on your birthday.
Chose his iPhone over you all week.
Once upon a time he used to be real to you: You saw his innocence in the enthusiastic joy that flitted across his face when talking about something he loves... ...Or that time he cried and you felt a tug on your heart strings… ...Or the tender look he had in his eyes when you shared a story of your childhood… You saw it then, you loved him for it then: his humanness. But the wrong-doings have piled up and he’s hardened in your mind into a “baddie”, someone who's more against you than for you. Yes, no doubt he could do more right, could love you in better ways than he does. But he has not become less human, less endearing, less lovable since you were first together. The things you hold against him, the hardened way you see him...that's what has blocked your ability to feel his human goodness, to love the real person he is. The truth is, you could love yourself better, too, by letting yourself SEE him again. The human him, instead of the bad him. By letting your heart soften to him.
You will feel love fill you again when you can. You will feel connection again. You can give yourself back the gift of that, the joy of that. It was never his to give you or take away in the first place. It was always yours to give or take from yourself. What would it be like for you to truly be filled with love for him again?
If you want to begin to give yourself that back --that ability to see and love the human that he is-- start by asking yourself these questions:
How might he be struggling?
What deep down really matters to him?
What do you know to be true about who he really is?
Once you’ve answered these questions, notice what it’s like now inside you. What’s shifted? Do you feel any softening, any more warmth? Notice that YOU did that, simply by seeing things a bit differently. That's just a taste of the power you have to give yourself more of the love you want. What would it be like to feel that love consistently, but increased 100-fold?
What would it mean for your life to no longer hold things against him, but instead to really love and enjoy the human that he is? To feel totally on his side, and like he's totally on your side, too?
You have it in you to feel that with him again. When you come coach with me we will unblock all that love you have in you, and bring the sweetness back to your marriage.
Give yourself the delicious lasting gift of that. Email me and say "I'm ready" and we'll set up a consult to decide if coaching with me is right for you.