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  • Writer's pictureHannah Brooks

When You Try To Figure Love Out On Your Own

As a fairly capable independent person, I used to think I could do most things by myself. I figured I could figure out how to run a little business. I figured I could figure out how to maintain a happy marriage.

And I did. A little bit.

My first business? I made a few thousand dollars in it. Before burning out and giving up. Feeling like a failure.

My first marriage? We maintained until we didn’t. All the things I tried on my own, all the things he tried with me? They didn’t work quite well enough to keep us from giving up in the end.They didn’t create the kind of lasting change that would’ve held us together. 

Maybe I was just a little too proud to get help. 

Maybe I was a little too ashamed to admit I needed it. 

Maybe I thought help wouldn’t make it easier. 

Maybe I thought it shouldn’t take that much to make it succeed

But the second time around for my business, the second marriage around, I decided were too important to me. Pride and independence be darned.

I would humble myself and get help. I would embolden myself and get help. I decided such efforts were totally worth the gain I would get.

When I finally decided I didn’t need to figure it all out by myself and I sought help for my business and for my how to thrive in marriage, I was pleasantly surprised by a few things: 

Not only did my business start succeeding beyond what I thought was possible, not only did my marriage feel ridiculously stable, loving, and sexy --but I had a ton of fun in the process.

It made the growing that I needed to do so much easier and so much faster.  By hiring coaches I felt supported in such a deep way that I didn’t have a smidgeon of a thought remaining that doing it on my own would have been stronger or better.  And shame about asking for help? That’s just not a thing for me anymore. (Nor is shame, really, nearly so much as it once was, thanks to my amazing coaches, to whom I'm endlessly grateful.)

So please hear me if there’s a part of you that’s embarrassed about getting help and is hesitating about hiring a coach: Getting help is the most powerful forward thinking thing you can do for yourself and your relationships. Yes, you may be able to figure a whole lot out on your own. 'Cause you're smart. But you will never be better, stronger, or more virtuous for going it on your own. In fact, getting help will get you FEELing those ways so much more deeply, 100 times faster.   My clients and I are testament to this: There’s just nothing like going after something we want with the supportive guidance of someone who can help us do it with less trial and error, with less frustration and confusion, who will make it way easier --and even fun.

Why make things harder for yourself? Help yourself by being willing to seek help for yourself and your relationship. It doesn't have to be me, of course! But if you want it to be, I'm here for you. Email me at to chat about what 1:1 coaching will mean for you, your marriage, and your whole life.



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