Does coaching ever NOT work?
Updated: Jun 29, 2022
On a consult recently, a woman told me she was worried coaching with me wouldn’t work for her (yes, this is a pretty common fear). She asked if there’s ever been a time it hasn’t worked for someone. My honest answer to her was: Yes. Coaching with me didn’t work for the woman who wasn’t open to my coaching, who wanted me to coach her using the modalities she was familiar with, and who wanted to only feel happy feelings on our calls and in her life. This made it hard for her to create change in her love life. Because we don’t get to deep love and joy without a few growing pains, without facing some of the challenging parts of ourselves, and being open to seeing and approaching things in new ways. Other reasons coaching might not "work” for you?
you don’t show up to many of your coaching calls
you actually don’t care all that much about getting the changes you say you want.
you’re unwilling to put in any effort (because, obviously, then you won’t get much out)
Those are the only reasons coaching wouldn’t work for you. Because when you lean into my coaching skills and tools, they work. It's as simple as that. Not only that, but I have designed a coaching package that goes way beyond the bare minimum, that delivers more than you need to create the results you want in your marriage. Just in the Learning Site alone, I support you with teaching videos and audios and exercises and all the things to ensure that you get everything you need for any level of change you want in your marriage. Add to that my experienced eyes and brain on your brain and your relationship in our coaching sessions, and we have a recipe that works to make your marriage super strong and loving and all that you want it to be. Coaching is a two-way street. I always show up 100%, but the results my clients get are dependent on how much they show up for themselves by showing up for the process.
But here’s the thing: I’ve had clients who showed up to our calls, and beyond that only put in maybe 30% effort--- and still they got major change. I’ve had clients who missed calls and rarely did their “home-play” assignments and still the difference between when they started with me and they ended with me in their happiness in themselves and in their marriage and overall in their life was profound.
Coaching works. Period. The question is will you work with it? (Ahem, I’m NOT talking perfectionist-workaholic-highly-ambitious-do-nothing-else kind of “work with it”. I’m talking come-as-yourself-lean-in-open-up-and-relax-into-growth kind of “work with it”) If the answer is yes-- even if that yes only ends up being 30% effort-- you are a golden candidate for this work--and it WILL work for you! If the answer is “Yes, AND I'm ready and willing to put in 60-100% effort, there is no doubt in my mind that your marriage and your whole life are about to become 1000 times better if you choose to come coach with me. It’s simply inevitable.