Changing Circumstances vs Thoughts
Updated: Jun 6
As highly sensitive people (HSPs), we are more sensitive to all the things than non-HSPs. Because of this, some popular advice for HSPs can tend toward finding environments and external circumstances that will support our sensitive systems.
That's all fine and good when we can control such things. But when it comes to other people–especially our partner–we can't usually make them “suit” us. We can’t control the “circumstance” of what they do or say. (But boy do some of us try--and it backfires almost always in marriage– ask me how I know!)
In fact, in general, relying on changing external circumstances to be well and happy leaves us quite powerless.
The good news is that you don't actually have to change circumstances to feel great in your marriage, especially once you’ve developed Emotional Agency–in other words, once you’ve learned how to free your emotions from the circumstances outside of you, and be in charge of them from within.
Then you no longer need to try to change or control your significant other (or other things in the world you simply don't have the power to control) in order to feel how you want to feel–and have a great marriage.
In today's episode, I share with you a favorite simple tool, called The Model, to start developing this —a tool that will go a huge way in helping you be very empowered around feeling fulfilled, light, connected, and like a team in your relationship with your significant other –without getting him to change at all.
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