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  • Writer's pictureHannah Brooks

What If He's Not The Right One?

Although it’s true that some people out there may have more desires, interests, and values in alignment with you than your partner, this does not mean your partner is wrong for you, or that you cannot be deeply happy with him.

It doesn’t mean that there is a more “right” person for you.

The belief that there is “The One” right partner for us is a toxic myth for so many of us.

I’ve seen too many women stuck in “the grass is always greener” mindset (which comes directly out of believing there is “The One”)...

...and once found, this right person will be easy and light to be with...there won’t be conflict or annoyance or nerves irritated or big moments of being triggered once you are with him…and effortless deep love and passion will be the norm...

Uh. Nope. Thinking like this will make real love ever elusive.

So let’s dispel these myths — so you can actually have the kind of love you long for.

For almost every one of you reading this, the person you chose to commit to is the right one for you.

The truth is, there are thousands of right ones for you. But the rightest one is very likely there in front of you, wanting to be loved, wanting to feel your interest, wanting to be appreciated.

The rightist one is right because:

  • He's here to help teach you to love what’s not always easy to love.

  • He’s here to teach you to be the lover you want your ideal person to be.

  • He’s here to give you the opportunity to learn how to source your own most essential emotional needs.

  • He’s here to teach you how to be with your hard emotions.

  • He’s here to teach you how to communicate in integrity with your heart.

  • He's here to help you give up controlling what you'll never be able to control (other adults) and learn to control what you can (your own inner world)

  • He’s here to help you find what fulfills you, what brings you joy, what you love, and what you want.

  • He’s here to invite you into learning how to always know how to find your own way to joy and NOT rely on him being different than he is for you to get there.

  • He’s here to laugh with, to look at, and to see his beauty.

  • He’s here to love.

Once you can learn to do this (and you can, I promise!), he will feel like the truly right person and The One.

The truth is, even if you found a perfectly “right partner,” it would still take conscious effort to truly enjoy him and your marriage in an ongoing way. You would still have irritations and conflict. You would still have to face the humanness of each of you.

In other words, no matter who you are with, if you want a loving lasting marriage, you can’t escape the work of learning to enjoy the green grass that's right here and making it even greener every day.

So don’t wait on your partner to become more “right”. Start seeing you are The One who makes him The One.

Sustained love is learned. It doesn’t fall upon us. No one can bring it to you without you putting in the effort to bring it alive for yourself. If you keep waiting, you will be waiting forever.

You’ve just got to choose to learn how to bring it alive and keep it alive. If you are ready to learn, I am ready to show you. Set up your consult here.


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