You Are Innately Gifted In Intimacy

YOU, as a sensitive being, have a beautiful, innate, huge capacity to connect deeply, tenderly, open-heartedly, and in an intimacy-generating way to your partner – and anyone at all…

Even during big conflicts, huge differences of opinion, and those times you'd have normally felt at real odds with them.

You may not feel like that right now, I know, but it's TRUE: You are innately gifted in intimacy, deep-down GIFTED in connection.

Because, you have, right there in your own body and brain, a built in connection-generating expert. Yes, this part of you is alive and well and completely accessible. 

Even if you get easily triggered… 

Even if you feel a strong surge of overwhelming emotions rise up in you at the first hint of conflict…

Even if you want to yell at the top of your lungs (or curl into a ball and disappear) when your spouse gets defensive or doesn't listen well to you…

Even if you can't seem to stop reacting strongly (and in a way you later regret) in your marriage…

…You CAN, nonetheless, connect to this innate love-generating part of you–and learn to live from here most of the time. 

And, as an HSP, this is the ticket to the kind of marriage you truly want.

Because, what I’ve discovered from over a decade of getting to see and help heal the inner workings of hundreds of marriages, is that a great relationship with your spouse has less to do with learning to relate well to your significant other, and more to do with how well you relate to your own Mind-Body-Heart-System. 

THAT relationship with yourself is the foundation of great relationships with other people.

I know this may not be what you hear from other marital advice sources. (They are often more focused on fixing the surface issues, or reducing “symptoms” that are really just flare-ups of a deeper underlying issue.)

But, the most effective, thorough, and QUICK way to improve any marriage, is to focus on healing the deeper SOURCE of the marriage issues. 

And that source is in EACH of us. The source of the issues you bring to your relationship is in YOU. Which means YOU can heal them.

There’s a lot to say on this, but the most important thing I want you to understand today is: 

When division and disconnection rear up in your relationship, it is not because of the words your spouse said, or the things he did as much as it is because those words and actions trigger an internal disconnection in your from the part of you that can connect.

In other words, the real divide stems from an inner divide in you -- a momentary, or chronic, disconnection with the part of you that can connect calmly, lovingly, genuinely: the Calm and Connect branch of your nervous system.

As soon as you lose connection with this part of you, you fall out of your heart, out of your rational mind, too, and become prone to feel fear, anger, annoyance, despair, hurt….and ACT out of those feelings (yell, blame, defend, accuse, etc), which only widens the divide and amplifies the disconnection and conflict. 

(And yes, all of this is likely happening inside your spouse, too!)

To be able to mend that divide, and truly connect in the deeply loving ways you want to with your spouse, and make the culture of your relationship one rich with loving connection, you have to learn how to connect back to this part of us that can connect.

That is the simplest, deepest and most fundamental skill to have a loving, connected marriage. Everything good, loving, affectionate and sweet in your relationship flows downstream from there.

In our 4 weeks together in Foundations Of Emotional Well-Being for HSPs, you will learn to connect, and stay connected most of the time to this part of you that enables the deepest connection...

…So that those times you get caught in the dividing separating part of yourself happen less and less often…

… and you start to deeply TRUST your ability to be a FORCE of love-and-intimacy-generation in your and your loved ones lives.  Learn more and join here.